What Then Shall I Now Blog

I opened my e-mail today to find that a friend had found my weak attempt at a blog, and was actually looking forward to reading something I had written. She was dismayed, distraught, disappointed, and decided to tell me about it. Thus, due to her prompting, I decided to give it another go. This is now, and will henceforth be my attempt at blogging my thoughts and occasionally giving updates in the lives of my family. So, without further delay, let the blogging begin.

I have been a parent now for 12 and a half wonderful years. My two beautiful girls have taught me many things through the years. I have learned that 7th graders are way better at math than I am. I have learned pre-school teachers are the most wonderful, patient people on the planet and should be given about a $500,000 per year raise. (Special Needs preschool teachers are granted instant sainthood upon death.) I have learned that an adult male can take only about 10 consecutive minutes of Hannah Montana music before brain cells begin to die. But the thing I think I have learned above all is that kids stink. I do not mean that figuratively. I love my children dearly and God has truly blessed me by bringing them to my life, but they stink. Children have this way of developing smells that can boggle the mind. Some examples of this are the standard releasing of gasses, not bathing for days, or forgetting deodorant then sweating in the hot sun all day. But my children have special stink gifts like smearing food in their hair or clothing and leaving it there all day, or wearing leather shoes all day with no socks then taking them off in the family room and sharing the aroma with everyone. I won't even mention the unmentionable moments involving feces in places it should not be.

One day I noticed a particularly pungent odor emminating from under on of my children's bed. Upon investigation I found a half eaten bologna sandwich that had begun to decay. When questioning said child I was told she was saving it for later, but she wasn't usually hungry in her room., but she will eat it when she gets hungry. I confiscated the forlorn snack and lovingly and tenderly explained the joys of refrigeration, complete with full-color diagrams and a map to the big metal box in the kitchen. I must admit that my lecture was selfish in nature. You see, had she eaten the sandwich, my least favorite stink more than likely would have presented itself. That would be the smell of vomit. I HATE the smell of vomit. It is one of the worst smells God created. Don't get me wrong, I am not a sympathetic puker, and I will help my children when they are ill (until mommy arrives anyway). I have been fortunate that my kids have not been sick very often. So I have not had to deal with it that much. But the smell of vomit is just wrong.

So in my first blog this year, I share these insightful, clever words of wisdom. Kids stink. But I love them more than anything and cherish them, and their smells, with all my being.

Peace.

Bill